Team,
We did say that we would blog about the dealings of Saturday Night, but unfortunately, due to uncontrollable circumstances, we are unable to recollect the exact series of events that led us to end up in our beds alone on Sunday morning. We assume that the copious amounts of Southern comfort we devoured didnt conveniently metamorphise us into debonair men of high society, and thus give us the ability to lure women into the batcave.
Anyway, enough about our failings, it's time to set some goals. Without goals, life sucks. The key is to set goals that are achievable. A wise person once said "Grasp for the Stars, atleast you'll get a handful of clouds". They were so so wrong. Shoot for clouds, and then if you don't get any, walk it off and set some new goals.
So below is a list of goals that we have set ourselves, which are basically very achievable and therefore you will see them being ticked off within a week.
1. Somehow get the Yvonne Strahovski (from Chuck) to come over for Salmon and salad.
- The good news is that she grew up in Sydney, which is where the Batcave is located, roughly speaking. According to our great Private Investigator skills we have also been made aware that she actually went to UWS. This means that she has been to penrith and was able to live. A definite plus. All we need to do is somehow get her here, for before mentioned, salad and salmon. Which will be delicious. If she's lucky she would get Scrambled Eggs with Peri Peri sauce in the morning.
2. Listen to way sweet tunes more often
P.Diddy is Great. We will listen to his many albums. And also Cobrastyle!!!! (By teddybears). Foster the People.
3. Achieve World Peace
We will NOT be racist in public aka keeping the peace
4. Become Lords
We are going to invest in some real estate in the land of where men wear dresses.Apparently this is legit, and as such our passports warrant the title Lord. Plus we will be Lords of the Batcave.
5. Turn Water into Wine
This is convenient because Sweet baby Jesus is coming to visit on Monday. He's bringing taco Bell. It would probably be easier for him to do it, as he has had more expereince and we were just going to go to the store, buy some wine, come back to the Batcave, tell him that we performed said miracle, and then have a delicious meal of salmon and Salad.
Ok, that's our goals. It's gonna be pretty easy i think. In the mean time we will continue to watch Chuck, to gather more intel. Honestly we'll just stare and drool.
We aren't goin to leave you hanging, here are some links to things that are in circulation in the Batcave at present, some of it is a bit Old school, but hilarious none the less. Due to the severe lackluster attitude that this blog now dishes up we have resorted to linking youtube clips. That's all from us on another exciting installation of hope to the masses. Please, if you want us to discuss any topics, let us know. We are pretty knowledgeable, so it won't be too much of a stretch to discuss anything.
Peace Out Friendos
Dave Chapelle - Rick James
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwgvwFWK_dQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYrfKkmNGEk&feature=related
Paul Zerdin - Funny Habib
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5XdIdIP-Vo
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
Friday, 23 September 2011
More Reviews!!! Hooray. 5.
Howdy y'all
We have our first guest contributing to this gift to the world of literature. Due to the confidentiality agreement enforced here at the batcave, we are unable to identify said guest blogger, but he/she is an outside dweller, who has the distinct privilege of sharing her/his opinion through the Bat channel. This dynamic piece of reviewing will be followed by another movie review based on a trailer.
"Review of Kasabian: Velociraptor
When Kasabian made the bold claim that this album will shoot them to Beetles-worthy stardom, I giggled. I didn't realise they actually thought this was goin to happen. Oh how wrong they were. Being a Kasabian fan, I have watched their slow decline into ballads and self indulgence over the past albums. This new album, is the equivalent of Aldus Snows' "African Child". It is not only detrimental to the African population but the world population in general (for those who bother to waste their money on it anyway).
They named this album "Velociraptor!" but I know for a FACT that if this dinosaur was existent today, they would rip out the gullet of the lead singer and leave the corpse for smaller animals. It wouldn't even bother trying to digest anymore of Kasabians' crap. There is the odd song that has a catchy beat but that is generally ruined by the 'what-rhymes-with-this-word' lyrics. Eg. They hunt for rabbits just like Yosemite Sam. Really? I mean....really? Is this meant to be like Yellow Submarine?
Small tip fellas, when in a recording studio, steer clear of acid and other such hallucinogens.
Dear Kasabian, please go back to the drawing board. Also, no one ever, will be as big as the beetles.
I give Velociraptor 1 bat out of 50 bats."
There you have it, look out Kasabian you pack of muts. We tend to agree with the motions bought forward by the review above, but a harsh 1/50 Bats, is, well, harsh. Anyway, it's not up to us in this instance. The Guest Blogger has spoken!!
Movie Review #3
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Starring: James Bond, Skinny chick with pale face, Christopher Plummer and a couple of other relatively famous hombres.
Plot: Old mate news reporter has to investigate the murder of some bird in a big house, which happened a while back. He gets help in his investigation from this super chick with tats, nose rings, a Can-Do attitude and the ability to temp sweet chicks into her lair. With a rad backing track, from presumably Trent Reznor, this is a must see movie. It has motorbikes and murder and some lesbian action. All you want in a film. And more.
What we think: This might actually be worth dragging out the old student card and sneaking in on concession. The books were cool, the Swedish version was cool and from all accounts, this will be raw doggin some randoms. Plus David Fincher can put together a film.
Rating: 9 Bats out of 11 Bats. (Only because the chick is a bit pale sometimes, I guess it is dark over there for 6 months of the year).
For your convenience, this is the link to watch it yourself
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgeRXqMu3zc
We will report back from our night out on Saturday with, hopefully, more guest bloggers
Laterz
We have our first guest contributing to this gift to the world of literature. Due to the confidentiality agreement enforced here at the batcave, we are unable to identify said guest blogger, but he/she is an outside dweller, who has the distinct privilege of sharing her/his opinion through the Bat channel. This dynamic piece of reviewing will be followed by another movie review based on a trailer.
"Review of Kasabian: Velociraptor
When Kasabian made the bold claim that this album will shoot them to Beetles-worthy stardom, I giggled. I didn't realise they actually thought this was goin to happen. Oh how wrong they were. Being a Kasabian fan, I have watched their slow decline into ballads and self indulgence over the past albums. This new album, is the equivalent of Aldus Snows' "African Child". It is not only detrimental to the African population but the world population in general (for those who bother to waste their money on it anyway).
They named this album "Velociraptor!" but I know for a FACT that if this dinosaur was existent today, they would rip out the gullet of the lead singer and leave the corpse for smaller animals. It wouldn't even bother trying to digest anymore of Kasabians' crap. There is the odd song that has a catchy beat but that is generally ruined by the 'what-rhymes-with-this-word' lyrics. Eg. They hunt for rabbits just like Yosemite Sam. Really? I mean....really? Is this meant to be like Yellow Submarine?
Small tip fellas, when in a recording studio, steer clear of acid and other such hallucinogens.
Dear Kasabian, please go back to the drawing board. Also, no one ever, will be as big as the beetles.
I give Velociraptor 1 bat out of 50 bats."
There you have it, look out Kasabian you pack of muts. We tend to agree with the motions bought forward by the review above, but a harsh 1/50 Bats, is, well, harsh. Anyway, it's not up to us in this instance. The Guest Blogger has spoken!!
Movie Review #3
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Starring: James Bond, Skinny chick with pale face, Christopher Plummer and a couple of other relatively famous hombres.
Plot: Old mate news reporter has to investigate the murder of some bird in a big house, which happened a while back. He gets help in his investigation from this super chick with tats, nose rings, a Can-Do attitude and the ability to temp sweet chicks into her lair. With a rad backing track, from presumably Trent Reznor, this is a must see movie. It has motorbikes and murder and some lesbian action. All you want in a film. And more.
What we think: This might actually be worth dragging out the old student card and sneaking in on concession. The books were cool, the Swedish version was cool and from all accounts, this will be raw doggin some randoms. Plus David Fincher can put together a film.
Rating: 9 Bats out of 11 Bats. (Only because the chick is a bit pale sometimes, I guess it is dark over there for 6 months of the year).
For your convenience, this is the link to watch it yourself
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgeRXqMu3zc
We will report back from our night out on Saturday with, hopefully, more guest bloggers
Laterz
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
4 members of the Jamaican Bobsled Team
Olla Citizens of Gotham,
Nice to see you again. Apparently we've gone big in the US (2 Views!!!!!!!), we feel quite comfortable in the fact that we may be moving out of the batcave and into a massive bat mansion with butlers and stuff reeeeal soon. Anyway, enough about that and straight into the tiger blood juice which is the batcave blog, of terror. We are diversifying from our usual direct factual accounts of life and are now going to start reviewing movies for you all. But we couldn't be arsed actually going to the movies so we are just going to review movies based on their trailers, if we see them on TV.
Movie Review #1
Abduction
Starring: we think it's one of the kids from Twilight (not the pasty one) and Sigourney Weaver.
Plot: We're fairly sure somebody got abducted, there was some background music, Sigourney is looking at Oscar buzz all up in her grill. From memory there was black car involved, typical of abductions
What we think: Don't bother, it stinks of a below par Mel Gibson movie, after he went all racial on the jews.
Rating: 3 Bats out of 10 Bats
Movie Review #2
Footloose
Starring: Some gimps
Plot: Looks to be the same as the one that was done back in the day, just minus Swayze and Baby. Pretty sure baby gets put in the corner this time for not having enough life skills. She also has a clubbed foot and can't dance properly
What we think: No Swayze, No deal!!!!!
Rating: No Swayze, No score!!!!
Heres some things we've being saying in the batcave recently
: Lets tango our way into a seniroitas pantalonas
: We don't kid about Quiche
Ok, so go out, don't go watch those movies. In all honesty they were probly worse than what we gave them credit for. And that is all we have to say today. I think we cluster bombed too much in the first couple of installments of this great read, so we are goin to collect knowledge, especially drunken knowledge and report back at a later date. Probably Hangover Sunday.
If you want to actually read a blog which is worth reading check out this dudes, if you're at work this should fill in an afternoon.
http://www.27bslash6.com/
Til next time habibs
Batcave Over and Out
Nice to see you again. Apparently we've gone big in the US (2 Views!!!!!!!), we feel quite comfortable in the fact that we may be moving out of the batcave and into a massive bat mansion with butlers and stuff reeeeal soon. Anyway, enough about that and straight into the tiger blood juice which is the batcave blog, of terror. We are diversifying from our usual direct factual accounts of life and are now going to start reviewing movies for you all. But we couldn't be arsed actually going to the movies so we are just going to review movies based on their trailers, if we see them on TV.
Movie Review #1
Abduction
Starring: we think it's one of the kids from Twilight (not the pasty one) and Sigourney Weaver.
Plot: We're fairly sure somebody got abducted, there was some background music, Sigourney is looking at Oscar buzz all up in her grill. From memory there was black car involved, typical of abductions
What we think: Don't bother, it stinks of a below par Mel Gibson movie, after he went all racial on the jews.
Rating: 3 Bats out of 10 Bats
Movie Review #2
Footloose
Starring: Some gimps
Plot: Looks to be the same as the one that was done back in the day, just minus Swayze and Baby. Pretty sure baby gets put in the corner this time for not having enough life skills. She also has a clubbed foot and can't dance properly
What we think: No Swayze, No deal!!!!!
Rating: No Swayze, No score!!!!
Heres some things we've being saying in the batcave recently
: Lets tango our way into a seniroitas pantalonas
: We don't kid about Quiche
Ok, so go out, don't go watch those movies. In all honesty they were probly worse than what we gave them credit for. And that is all we have to say today. I think we cluster bombed too much in the first couple of installments of this great read, so we are goin to collect knowledge, especially drunken knowledge and report back at a later date. Probably Hangover Sunday.
If you want to actually read a blog which is worth reading check out this dudes, if you're at work this should fill in an afternoon.
http://www.27bslash6.com/
Til next time habibs
Batcave Over and Out
Sunday, 18 September 2011
Japanese Number Three: san
Dear loyal Followers,
Once again we are about to blow your minds with cluster bombs of knowledge. We are drawing inspiration from our new Publicity manager. He has already put his nose to the grindstone and is out there wooing chicks with his charisma and natural non-ADHD charms. He actually recored a video resume which also won him massive amounts of brownie points!! It can be found here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEuJ3dLLYco&feature=share
Now, down to the good stuff!!! The hot topics that are confronting our world at the moment:
1. First World Problems
I have to admit, we here at the batcave, along with most humans on planet earth, have an abundance of problems, mainly being First World Problems. You hear about droughts, tsunamis, earthquakes and other natural disasters which, lets face it, are nothing in comparison to the ordeals we face every single day of our lives. Below are just some of the problems that we face, which are waaaaaay worse than 3rd world problems.
Problem: "Can't go out tonight, the power died and I can't straighten my hair"
Comparison: Horn of Africa has no water
Problem: "I ate too much food and now have to have a power spew"
Comparison: Horn of Africa has no food
Problem: "There is nothing on tv, I'm going to bed"
Comparison: Horn of Africa has no tv, nor beds
Problem: "Its too cooooooold, i can't find my jumper"
Comparison: Horn of Africa is too hot
Problem: "My internet is slow, and i can't download sweet tunes"
Comparison: Horn of Africas goats died due to hotness, no water, no food and no beds
Problem: "I'm hungover and can't be bothered driving 2kms to Maccas"
Comparison" Horn of Africa doesnt have maccas
So there is just a few of examples of how tough we all really have it, I don't know how we even live!!!!
2. The Wallabies and Aussie Cricket team
What's goin on here? The irish? the mob who all started dying in the 19th Century because they couldnt work out there was other food in the world besides potatoes, have destoyed us!!! We are usually fully behind our national teams, you know, until they lose, but this is different!!! They didnt even look like winning, and now, old Webb Ellis doesnt look liek coming back to our shores. Outrage!!!! and another 1st world problem.
The aussie cricketers just need warney and glen mcgrath back and we'll be fine. Warney will need to get back on the baked beans and pizzas so all we need to do is break him and Liz Hurley up. (Liz Hurley is more than welcomed at the batcave anytime). Ideas are needed for how we can break them up, im just assuming that we tell some english rag that liz is dating hugh grant and our problems will be solved. Mike Hussey is going great though, good on him.
3. Grocery Shopping
This next video is what we watch every sunday before we go grocery shopping.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwmOvHGzq1I
This could also work for entertaining lady folk, before you brush your teeth or play college football. At the moment at the bat cave the only one we are coming close to is playing college football for the Gators. Just kidding, our dental hygiene is impeccable, ladies.
Ok, thats all from the bat cave for now. we will be having an evening on entertainment to christen the cave, and as such have set up a registry at David Jones. We need a lamp the most. So whoever gets us that, we will give a shot of tequilla and a handshake.
"We ain't goin no where, we aint going no where, we cant be stopped now cos we're bad boys 4 lyf!!!"
That above quote is from our favourite song at the Bat cave. It's by our main man P.Diddy.
Laterz
Once again we are about to blow your minds with cluster bombs of knowledge. We are drawing inspiration from our new Publicity manager. He has already put his nose to the grindstone and is out there wooing chicks with his charisma and natural non-ADHD charms. He actually recored a video resume which also won him massive amounts of brownie points!! It can be found here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEuJ3dLLYco&feature=share
Now, down to the good stuff!!! The hot topics that are confronting our world at the moment:
1. First World Problems
I have to admit, we here at the batcave, along with most humans on planet earth, have an abundance of problems, mainly being First World Problems. You hear about droughts, tsunamis, earthquakes and other natural disasters which, lets face it, are nothing in comparison to the ordeals we face every single day of our lives. Below are just some of the problems that we face, which are waaaaaay worse than 3rd world problems.
Problem: "Can't go out tonight, the power died and I can't straighten my hair"
Comparison: Horn of Africa has no water
Problem: "I ate too much food and now have to have a power spew"
Comparison: Horn of Africa has no food
Problem: "There is nothing on tv, I'm going to bed"
Comparison: Horn of Africa has no tv, nor beds
Problem: "Its too cooooooold, i can't find my jumper"
Comparison: Horn of Africa is too hot
Problem: "My internet is slow, and i can't download sweet tunes"
Comparison: Horn of Africas goats died due to hotness, no water, no food and no beds
Problem: "I'm hungover and can't be bothered driving 2kms to Maccas"
Comparison" Horn of Africa doesnt have maccas
So there is just a few of examples of how tough we all really have it, I don't know how we even live!!!!
2. The Wallabies and Aussie Cricket team
What's goin on here? The irish? the mob who all started dying in the 19th Century because they couldnt work out there was other food in the world besides potatoes, have destoyed us!!! We are usually fully behind our national teams, you know, until they lose, but this is different!!! They didnt even look like winning, and now, old Webb Ellis doesnt look liek coming back to our shores. Outrage!!!! and another 1st world problem.
The aussie cricketers just need warney and glen mcgrath back and we'll be fine. Warney will need to get back on the baked beans and pizzas so all we need to do is break him and Liz Hurley up. (Liz Hurley is more than welcomed at the batcave anytime). Ideas are needed for how we can break them up, im just assuming that we tell some english rag that liz is dating hugh grant and our problems will be solved. Mike Hussey is going great though, good on him.
3. Grocery Shopping
This next video is what we watch every sunday before we go grocery shopping.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwmOvHGzq1I
This could also work for entertaining lady folk, before you brush your teeth or play college football. At the moment at the bat cave the only one we are coming close to is playing college football for the Gators. Just kidding, our dental hygiene is impeccable, ladies.
Ok, thats all from the bat cave for now. we will be having an evening on entertainment to christen the cave, and as such have set up a registry at David Jones. We need a lamp the most. So whoever gets us that, we will give a shot of tequilla and a handshake.
"We ain't goin no where, we aint going no where, we cant be stopped now cos we're bad boys 4 lyf!!!"
That above quote is from our favourite song at the Bat cave. It's by our main man P.Diddy.
Laterz
Tuesday, 13 September 2011
Numero Deux
To our loyal followers,
Due to recent feedback that the first of our Batcave blogs was total shite, we are here to make amends and provide you with some topical discussions. So, here we go:
1. How the hell are we gonna get sweet marys to the Batcave?
We have no idea. Kidnapping is frowned upon. and talking to them in french hasn't worked. I am sick of looking at smoking hot bitches, on tv, in the movies, on the train, in planes, at the gym, at the bus stop, walking down the street, at work and at the Vatican. Allegedly, theres a man drought in sydney. Well look out ladies, the Batcave is ready for business. Well after we purchase our erotic, but tasteful art for the wall, we will be ready for business. I'm perfectly sure our two, and only followers, could ellaborate how to pick up said hotties. Having said that I know one of them tricked his current girlfriend into liking him by pretending he wasnt drunk.
Things that may work include:
- Lying through the skin of our teeth.
- being nice and smiling constantly
- going to the gym 8 days a week and looking like Thor
- getting some chick to go shopping ang pick our neat clothes for us.
- learning enough french to let them think we are cultured, without sounding like massive nerdburgers.
Things that won't work:
- yelling at them
- loitering outside their windows.
- dancing like you're playing basketball.
- being the drunkest human on earth but still thinking you are smooth as silk
2. How fucking good is Peri-Peri Sauce?!?
This second chapter of this blog, thati'm already getting over writing, is dedicated to peri peri sauce. It is tops. We use it in our scramble eggs in the morning (recommended to the max), and we made Grillz' burgers look and taste like they were made by a hobo named Geoffery with no thumbs and a stutter. It comes in mild, kinda hot and fuck-my-mouth hot. It is delicious. We can't stress this enough. This is what the ladies who do venture into the batcave like lost deer are in for, delicious food covered in peri peri sauce. Unless they like Salmon cos we cook that good too without peri peri sauce.
3. Shut up Manly
For gods sake, can you pretentious wankfests complain anymore about everything??? You didnt play at Brooky......so what....you knew you weren't at the start of the year, you all agreed to it. So 14000 people turn up, to a ground 20 minutes away from your homeground......and you whinge you would have got 20 000. So 6000 people couldnt be bothered about going 20mins??? coolest and best fans ever. Go Knights!!
4. Guests Bloggers
We are gonna need some guest bloggers cos i cant keep this up.
Bat Cave OOOuuuutttttt
Due to recent feedback that the first of our Batcave blogs was total shite, we are here to make amends and provide you with some topical discussions. So, here we go:
1. How the hell are we gonna get sweet marys to the Batcave?
We have no idea. Kidnapping is frowned upon. and talking to them in french hasn't worked. I am sick of looking at smoking hot bitches, on tv, in the movies, on the train, in planes, at the gym, at the bus stop, walking down the street, at work and at the Vatican. Allegedly, theres a man drought in sydney. Well look out ladies, the Batcave is ready for business. Well after we purchase our erotic, but tasteful art for the wall, we will be ready for business. I'm perfectly sure our two, and only followers, could ellaborate how to pick up said hotties. Having said that I know one of them tricked his current girlfriend into liking him by pretending he wasnt drunk.
Things that may work include:
- Lying through the skin of our teeth.
- being nice and smiling constantly
- going to the gym 8 days a week and looking like Thor
- getting some chick to go shopping ang pick our neat clothes for us.
- learning enough french to let them think we are cultured, without sounding like massive nerdburgers.
Things that won't work:
- yelling at them
- loitering outside their windows.
- dancing like you're playing basketball.
- being the drunkest human on earth but still thinking you are smooth as silk
2. How fucking good is Peri-Peri Sauce?!?
This second chapter of this blog, thati'm already getting over writing, is dedicated to peri peri sauce. It is tops. We use it in our scramble eggs in the morning (recommended to the max), and we made Grillz' burgers look and taste like they were made by a hobo named Geoffery with no thumbs and a stutter. It comes in mild, kinda hot and fuck-my-mouth hot. It is delicious. We can't stress this enough. This is what the ladies who do venture into the batcave like lost deer are in for, delicious food covered in peri peri sauce. Unless they like Salmon cos we cook that good too without peri peri sauce.
3. Shut up Manly
For gods sake, can you pretentious wankfests complain anymore about everything??? You didnt play at Brooky......so what....you knew you weren't at the start of the year, you all agreed to it. So 14000 people turn up, to a ground 20 minutes away from your homeground......and you whinge you would have got 20 000. So 6000 people couldnt be bothered about going 20mins??? coolest and best fans ever. Go Knights!!
4. Guests Bloggers
We are gonna need some guest bloggers cos i cant keep this up.
Bat Cave OOOuuuutttttt
Sunday, 11 September 2011
Living at the bat Cave Part Un
Hungover stop Stay tuned for more great posts such as this one with cutting edge updates, like this one stop Due to obvious hungover reasons this first blog will mostly contain facts, how to live when you're in the Bat Cave, how we will attempt to lure sweet marys to the Bat Cave with our charms and cool funny jokes and of course, why I spent $1000 in two days at the X stop FML stop
Part Un complete stop
Part Un complete stop
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