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Well the day has finally arrived, the day you have all been dreading, it's the day the LeBatcave shuts down. And just in time for the latest installment of the Batman Trilogy, The Dark Knight Rises, as well. Filming was an ordeal!!! The amount of water they poured through here, no wonder we have a mould crisis alert!

So we thought we'd go through some of the memories that we created whilst we stayed here, in point form of course. Don't worry we are far too lazy to go through every single adventure, and just keep in mind 83% of our time was spent either at work, hungover or playing Gran Tourismo on a Friday night. We've changed.

Things we will remember, and you should too
- Bavarian Beer Cafe: We walked in, sat down at a table reserved for people ordering food. We told, Viv, our sexy waitress that we would order food but was just waiting on a couple of people. We never ordered any food. 4.5 Litres and 6 hours later it was Spewfest 2011. We tryed to get Viv to come to the Batcave by giving her a massive tip, a flower picked from a pot plant we found and our business cards, but she never came back :-(
- Ramjet's Bucks Show: If any of you have been to a buck show, you'll know what we're on a bout here. We can't go into any kind of detail about the events that went down, due to Bro-code restrictions, but we can tell you the weekend ended in a full beer bottle being answered rather than a telephone resulting in a bed full of beer.
- The night City Lemsipper came to party: This can be read about in a post from earlier in the year entitled "When Sex Offenders strike at 2am". We give him hell for this, but honestly, props to that guy. It will live long in the hallowed walls of LeBatcave(Mainly because of the scuff marks on the walls of LeBatcave).
- Batcave Launch Party: Our poor kitchen. Our poor, poor kitchen. The amount of martini or whatever the hell it was on the ground was larger than the Hoover Dam in America. It was also the first time the N Jaffas were brought out in public and it's safe to say they went down an absolute treat.
- Batcave-a-Palooza: We had this at the Crowie due to the fact our place was like Hiroshima a day after they dropped that big dirty bomb on it. Everyone got a free drink, which we hooked up cos we are just great guys. But then the bouncers caught on that we were having fun and started randomly punting people. Good work bouncers, we love you guys heaps (Fucking Not).

Things we may remember, and you don't have to
- Arctic Monkeys. Fringe Monkey spilling not one, but two drinks, and then his little misso pagging up and getting the boot. It was fun though.
- Foo Fighters at SFS. Getting tickets off the biggest seeds in Sydney
- Anytime Coffee Black and Fringe Monkey stayed over chaos ensued. Stealing people's I.D cards from the Crowie, eating our leftover roasts, having really weird haircuts that they are going to look back on when they're older and think, What was I thinking......I must have been a batty boy!!! It also made us realise that we are old gronks and can't party like we used to, even though we try hard.
- The Wombats. Fun times. Drinks were spilt, 16year olds were hooked up with (nice one Zippy). Once again the Crowie bouncers were Gronkbags and wouldn't let us in. We fooled them though by changing our shirts and going back up. We are so smart.

Things we don't remember
- Anything that happened after we had N Jaffas.

Ok, that's it. The end of an era. On this Black Friday we bid you farewell. The back Catalogue will be available on Amazon for $2.50 per blog, which makes us think, why didn't we write 1 million updates.

So from us, Good Bye. may your wildest dreams come true, and "Where are my Dragons?!!!!!!"

Erotic Novel Chapter 2

As Sister Mary Margaret lay in her hammock, listening to the heavy artillery gunfire overhead she could faintly hear the soft breathing of her companion and fellow Sister, Yvette. They had been bunkered down in the tiny bomb shelter for a day now, hiding from the distress of war with a low supply of food and little water. It was night time outside but the women could not tell, they just lay, waiting for the gunfire to stop, or for the war to be thrust upon their tiny bomb shelter. As Sister Mary Margaret sat up, she turned to Yvette who by now was also sitting. They locked eyes with one another, not uttering a single word. Yvette rose to her feet and slipped off her sexy nurse uniform. Sister Mary Margaret was taken back by this manoeuvre. As Yvette stood there, completely still, but completely naked, Sister Mary Margaret felt something come over her that she had never felt before. Lust for a woman. Yvette was tall, with legs that seemed to travel up to a beautiful rainbow in the sky. Her skin was tanned and her body was that of a glamourous Supermodel. Her perky breasts sat promptly on her chest. Sister Mary Margaret stood as well, she was very nervous as she had never experienced the touch of a woman, not even herself (because she was married to God and all that) . Yvette had only recently joined the convent, and was a reformed sex addict. A very Sexy Sex Addict. The two women stood in front of each other, staring into the eyes of one another. Yvette out stretched her hand and slighty touched Sister Mary Margaret on her left cheek. This sent shivers all the way down her spine, eventually settling deep in her loins. With that touch she had gone from "Fairly Moist" to "Damp as a wet sponge". She immediately tore off her clothes in an absurd fit of passion, resembling the antics of someone with epilepsy. By now her clothes had been strewn across the concrete floor, and the two women stood in front of each other, this time both completely naked. Yvette, without losing eye contact with Sister Mary Margaret knelt down. Confronted with the sight of Sister Mary Margaret's Poorly Wrapped Kebab, she proceeded to place her right hand on the good Sister's left breast, her other hand on her right buttock and her tongue on her magic bean. The ecstasy that Sister Mary Margaret felt could have lit up the small bombshelter, the glow on her face was obvious. As Yvette motor boated her Tucker box, she audibly moaned with pleasure. God was in tears.

This is the second installment, "Nurses and Lovers" in the Erotic Adventures of Sister Mary Margaret book series. Avid readers of the first erotic story will notice that we really used up all our erotic novel writing know-how in the first part, and ran out of steam for this one. We could definitely not write a screenplay for a Hollywood movie...............................or could we?..........................No we couldn't.

An Open Letter to Todd

An Open Letter to Todd Thomas

Dear Todd (Fashion Legend),

Over the past year, since we moved into our illustrious LeBatcave we have delved into the highly glamorous world of fashion and in particular, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show's. When we say delved, we watched the 05'-11' Fashion Shows repeatedly, both hungover and sober. Obviously, as two stunningly handsome (debatable) heterosexual males, we were mostly interested in who was wearing the clothes, or there lack of, rather than the actual fashion. As time went on, we realised that we became interested in the clothing that these beautiful models wore. And that's where you come in. Todd, not only do you have the greatest job on earth, way better than a Dolphin Trainer at Seaworld, but also, you are very good at what you do. I mean, that haircut and horn-rimmed glasses combo really sets the mood for the models. But we digress, and here's the crux of our open letter. Can we be your apprentices? We realise that we have no real knowledge or experience of the fashion world, but we think that we are pretty great at most things in life, and designing clothes wouldn't be too much of a stretch. Under your guidance anyway. Whilst we might not fully comprehend fashion, we definately know whats hot and what's not. Hot: Anything you designed, Todd, Not: Any of these things. We don't mean to blow smoke up your Arse, so to speak, but we really are fans of your work. After your silver screen stints in Victoria's Secret 10'-11' Fashion Show's we finally found the upstanding Gentlemen that we could entrust in helping us (Two simple guys from the Land Down Under) achieve the lofty goals of experiencing the glitz and glamour of a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

And as our mothers have always told us "You can always trust a guy with Two first names"

If you would like us to send through any of our designs, let us know. We are more than willing to show you we are not only really efficient at the English Language, but also with MS Paint and drawing lines. Sewing may be a slight issue. There was this sock bunny we had to sew back in high school and.................that's a story for another day.

Kind Regards,

Your LeBatcave Team.

P.S: Can you send us some tickets anyway?
P.P.S: If the tickets don't work out, we could totally carry your coffee and provide light-hearted entertainment for everyone.
P.P.P.S: When we say we could provide light-hearted entertainment we mean we could sit in the corner, not offend anyone and drink champagne.

Final Review!!

Because we didn't want to give away the surprise too early of what will be our last movie review, we decided not to put it in the heading line but add it in the first paragraph. Mind blowing, we know. And we have definitely (not) left the best for last. We've covered some great movies since we started back in our glory days as a couple of easy-come-easy-go bachelors with great attitudes and fashion accessorizing techniques, but this last one is quite a doozy. Before you all have strokes, the final review is........................................................Abraham Lincoln:Vampire Hunter

Review Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Starring: Wise Old Abe, Presumably the pasty guy from Twilight (Unconfirmed), Probably a babe
What Happens: Because Old Abe wasn't born with a filthy neck beard and a big shove-pipe hat, he obviously had to the pass the time before he became somehow relevant to American History. As a boy, his mother was eaten by vampires (they didn't try to turn her, they just ate her all up) and this made him really angry, but he couldn't do anything about it because he was just a wimpy child. This coming-of-age teen sex romp is basically the adolescent years of Abe. From his first girlfriend (werewolf) to dealing with his lost cat (werewolf), this take on his life explores the inner workings of this Vampire Hunters mind. He shows great skills as a lumberjack, cutting through large oak trees in a single hit. He shows excellent navigation skills by riding on top of a cargo train which has been lit on fire by a vampire (most likely). But the greatest thing it shows is how Abraham Lincoln killed all the vampires (except the ones from Twilight, Underworld and Blade) so we can live as free humans today. What a legendary Dude.
What do we think: What a crock of shit. What's next? George Washington:International Male Model, or Julia Gillard: Penguin Look-a-like Contest Participant. Hollywood must be running out of ideas, and in a hurry. Oh and for a teen sex romp, where's all the drugs???
Score: 1 Stove-pipe Hat out of 1 Gazillion Stove Pipe Hats. This is the same guy who got assassinated by John Wilkes Boothe? (Our American History knowledge base is built on heresay and conjecture) But can kill a shit tonne of vampires. Very Real.

Explaining Game of Thrones

We love Game of Thrones. Mainly because it has a heap of boobs, clunge and murder involved in it, but sometimes we just appreciate the characters involved. For you consideration we have prepared a summary of the main players as it gets a little confusing trying to keep up with what's going on. We won't do every character as that would literally take us an hour to write, and let's face it, we could not be bothered.

Intro: Daaaaaaaaaa daaaaaaaa dadadummmmmmmmmmmmm da dadadummmmmmmmmmmm

Sersei Lannister: You'd do her, but unfortunately she only has sex with her close family members. Not to mention she is an absolute bitch. You'd do her though.

Tyrion Lannister: Imp. Hilarious and bangs heaps of prossies.





Jaqen: Deadset Legend. Murders at the drop of a hat. Very handy to have around.

Danerys Targarean: You'll hear alot of "Where are my Dragons!?!?!". She got her kit off a fair bit in the first season, but unfortunately due to her now being ridiculously in love with her dragons she doesn't even show side boob. She is really whiny about her dragons.


Joffrey: What a little fucksnot!!!!. Everytime you see him on the TV you just want to punch his stupid blonde head. The worst thing is that he is now getting married to the hottest babe in all the land who doesnt mind setting her rack of lamb free, Margery Tyrell.

Ok, we got bored of this, so that's the end of that. If we were on Game of Thrones though we definitely would not be going North of the Wall. It's cold and you can't have any relations with any babes ever!!! And poor Jon Snow has this crazy ranga trying to seduce him. I bet he regrets taking those stupid vows. Plus those white walkers are out there and they are pretty much the worst thing since mould.

Erotic Novel

As the Captain directed the ship with his strong, muscular arms, his long blonde hair blowing in the salty sea air, Sister Mary Margaret crept out from below to gaze upon the man that had rescued her. As she watched as he navigated the vessel through the treacherous waters, feelings crept upon her that she had never felt before. With every turn of the ships wheel her lust for the Captain grew and grew. It was fortunate that they were the only two aboard the vessel at the time, as her rosy red cheeks were a key giveaway to the embarrassment that she felt as her salty sea clam began to moisten. With some hesitation, but drawn by her immense lust for the man that had saved her life, she unbuttoned the top three buttons on her blouse to allow her chest cannons to breathe, and swaggered over to The Captain with a false confidence that would have fooled the greatest judges in all the land. The Captain turned and their eyes met. Her salty sea clam went from moist to "Clean Up in Aisle 5" with the simultaneous connection of their eyes. The Captain, who was incredibly handsome and romantic, as well as strong, walked away from the ship's wheel without a second thought and greeted Sister Mary Margaret with a passionate kiss. As God cried, Sister Mary Margaret slowly took the clothes off her rescuer as his picture perfect hair glistened in the sun, poking through the clouds on this overcast afternoon. By now her nipples were on high beam in the fresh sea air, even though her blouse remained fastened to her chest. The Captain, in a show of how good a lover he really was, took all of Sister Mary Margaret's clothes off with the swipe of his left hand. As he took the sight of the very attractive sister in, his one-eyed trouser snake started to stand to attention. In mere seconds it had gone from placid Jack Russel to Angry Pitbull. As it's cycloptic death stare turned its gaze to Sister Mary Margaret she was immediately hypnotised by it, and forgetting all the vows she had made to God and Jesus and the rest of the gang, she knelt down for her hail Mary's and instead proceeded to play hide the slippery sausage in her cheesy taco.......................

That's just a sneak peek of the Erotic Novel, named "My Captain, My Lover". You won't catch it anywhere, let alone good book stores.  

TomKat...noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

With the dramatic Grand Finale of the much loved and truly appreciated LeBatcave blog creeping up on everyone ever so quickly, we'd like to now take the chance to review the absolute living shit out of a couple of things (which haven't been determined as yet as we enter into the body of the text). The End of Days draws nearer much the same as in the Movie Classic "End of Days" starring big Arnie, but unlike Arnie we are not doomed with a pending Apocalypse, or the return of Jesus, or whatever happened in that movie but more so the fact that the internet will have a little less grace and humility once we stop writing these blogs. So here are a few reviews, and other things that have interested our tiny little brains.

The End of TomKat
Well, what a drama. The most loved couple in all of the 15 realms of L.Ron Hubbard's classic fictional tale, Scientology, have parted ways. This is probably the only thing that has made any kind of sense in the past 10 years. Personally, we think it's a little coincidental that the carbon tax was introduced the same day as they split. We smell a rat. But now the planet must turn to poor little Suri who is without her midget father and now has to hang out with her mother, who peaked in about 2001. If you'd like to know how she is feeling, we'd suggest you visit her personal blog Suri's Burn Book. Little is known about why they split, but there has been rumour circulating (possibly starting right here) that Katie was not fond of Tom's inability to reach the top shelf at the supermarket, and also his fantasies of becoming one of Snow White's Seven Dwarves. We find this absurd as he has no trade and would never survive in a coal mine.

Review What to Expect When Your'e Expecting
Starring: Maybe Chris Rock, Maybe other actors?
What Happens: This is a documentary of how easy women have it in the world. These power women make their husbands quit their jobs so that they can go back to work and have meetings about how they can be mad at all the men in the world for no reason. The film follows a few fathers as they potter around the park wiping their children's noses whilst trying to remember their child's name and also how they got into this predicament (not on the pill, is the obvious answer). The women then come home and demand dinner whilst the poor father is trying to look after the dinner and the baby!!! Chris Rock's spirit has been taken away as he breaks into tears and the the film ends.
What we think: To be total honest we never even seen the trailer for this one, we heard someone talking about it and then decided the best way to proceed would be to provoke the feminist quarter of the internet. Calm down ladies, put your bras back on.
Score: "10 Happy Feminists" out of "We've ever actually met one of them let alone 10"

Review MUMU

It's good, go eat there. MUMU. We did and it was delicious. But take your mortgage broker with you as your hip pocket may be taking a battering at the end. Obviously, this money concerns do not trouble us as we reap the financial rewards from writing this garbage.

Review WAQU

It's also good. Potato soup in a martini glass? ahhhhh yes thanks. It is set menu, awesome food, and really nice people explaining what you are eating whilst you sit there and try to figure it out yourself. Often the thing you thought was soem kind of meat was actually some kind of pickled fruit. If you are looking to impress the ladies, as we often are, we suggest you check it out. WAQU

Geez this has been a long one. So we'll end it here whilst we scoot off to drive high spped cars around race tracks.......................on the PS3.

Later y'all.