Laneway Festival
Recently, one of us had the chance to attend a little festival known as Laneway. I'd like to call it "Fringe Festival", as nearly every Gronk had a fringe. Unfortunately though, Fringe Festival has something to do with South Australia (yeah, we don't really care), and as such will remain Laneway Festival.
The day started off quite well with a hangover born from the fires of Mt Doom, and then a bus ride out to the festival. Nothing really eventful happened on the way except my companion yelled at a bus for not stopping and my train ticket got stuck in the bus. Other than that, smooth sailing. (Note: I have about as much love of buses as our friends over at 60 degrees, as there is usually the one lunatic who thinks he can talk to everyone, whilst being drunk and homeless; no champ, i'll talk to you when you have a street address).
Ok, so we got to Laneway and then shit really hit the fan. I'll adopt the approach of using bullet point in no particular order of events mainly because it was a long day and I can't remember.
- We went to see EMA. We sat on the ground, but then had to get back up because it was humid. Then EMA started singing about fingerbashing herself (then she fingerbashed herself for at least 4 minutes), her grandmas array of weapons and a whole heap of other dribble all whilst trying to choke herself with a mic cord. Mind you, the reason she had such a massive fringe is because she looked like a cross between a beaten favourite and the backend of a semi-trailer.
- An old man was sleeping next to me, he then got up and nearly fell on me. I think he had a stroke. Unconfirmed.
- The short hipster in front of me had a giant spliff and fortunately blew some in my face. Free second hand smoke. Winning.
- I didn't dress hipster enough, i didn't have enough beards or moustaches.
- We seen a girl pinging off her head at about 3pm. We didn't see her the rest of the day (Presumed Dead). Her friend, the big guy with a rats tail was eating the inside of his face at 3pm. We seen him later, we assumed he wouldn't be eating for the next week.
- A lady from Penriff served us our food. She had bogan pride glittering in her eyes and in the plaque on her yellow teeth.
- A large number of large women. Apparently hipsters draw the fatty crowd.
And that's about all I can remember. Surely other stuff did happen, but after these highlights, who needs other memories!!!!
And now to end the season with a review. And as a special treat for you all, we will be reviewing an ad from the Super Bowl!!
Review: The Dodge Ad that Clint Eastwood did.
Starring: Clint Eastwood, Detroit
What happens: Basically this is a 3 minute dribble session by the man who brought us classic lines such as "Go ahead, make some hay", and " That's not a knife, this is a fork". He is basically spruiking the Dodge/Chrysler line of vehicle manufacture and how the recession gripped Detroit and everyone cried and had to live in their Dodges and then they all had a party because they are American.
What we think: This. Was. Terrible!! This is the Superbowl ads. They are worth a gazillion dollars, and this wasn't even funny. Unfortunately we watched most of this ad waiting for some hilarity to ensue before we realised that Clint was just banging on about how everyone is so dirt poor, and how he wants them to buy a car!!! These poor people cant even eat!!! Let alone buy a car.
Score: Minus one million bats out of a ..........Flock???School??? of Bats
Ok, that's all from Season 2, stay tuned for Season 3.
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