And then Obama said.....

Welcome to the new and improved Batcave blog 2.0. Much the same as I-snack 2.0 (lame) (from hereon in there will be no reference made to 2.0). With the launch of Season 2 we have moulded and grafted the formulas and algorithms to leave you with a less bewildered look on your face and a more positive outlook on life. How are we going to do this? With actual knowledge bombs!! Even though we did actually shred your minds with cluster bombs full of knowledge and life facts during the last round of blogging, this time round we will be way more serious about it. Politics, Current Issues, Tax, Asylum Seekers, all the big world events, you know stuff like that.................who are we kidding, its exactly the same amount of utter dribble as last time. But hey, who cares? not us, thats for sure!

Without further adeur, let us deep sea dive into the realm of endless possibilities and fantastical magic which is the musing of the Batcave.

Evolution
It has been brought to our attention that the human species may not be as cool as we think we are, and when it comes down to it, are just a bunch of glorified cavemen. We are basing this startling finding on a documentary that we watched the other night (We are highly evolved, not like the rest of you) in which a hairy caterpillar lived for 14 years!!! 14 years!!! A caterpillar!!! Very impressive stuff. It lives in the Arctic Circle somewhere, so as you can imagine, its quite chilly most of the time. Evolution Fact 1: It grew hair to keep it from getting the flu. It's also very cold in Winter, so rather than be a mopey little caterpllar it, Evolution Fact 2: Dies. That's right, this Hairy Caterpillar dies and then in the Spring Time comes back to life. It does this for 14 years before it turns itself into a pair of silk pyjamas by ducking and weaving its silk jizz all over itself. Then all this awesomeness is destroyed when this awesome Hairy caterpillar, in all its awesome glory, morphs into a beautiful, magestic Butter......moth. A moth. How devastating. If we were caterpillars and waited 14 years to evolve to the next level (very much like a pokemon) and came out as a moth, well, we'd be pretty disillusioned with life. We'd want to be Beautiful Arctic Butterfly's, not dingy Arctic Moths.

What do humans do? They just live and die. Humans can't make cocoons made of glorious silk, definately can't shape-shift into anything and can't sleep for more than about 12 hours on average per day. The only thing that humans have going for them is that they can't turn into pointless moths.

What killed the Dinosaurs?
You may have heard various answers to this question.
Answer 1: A meteorite the size of Dublin crashed into the Earth, and in doing so made all the dust and dirt on the planet airborne. The Dinosaurs were all asthmatic, couldn't breathe, and then died.
Answer 2: Ice Age. This is pretty self explanitary. It got cold, and because the dinosaurs didn't have their jumpers on, unlike the hairy caterpillar, they got really bad chills and then died. Pretty lazy really, they should have saw that one coming, they were just trying to be tough.
Answer 3: Jesus killed them. Christians think dinosaurs were like your garden variety leprachaun or midget. Non existent. So they made up this whole book dedicated to how Jesus fought all the dinosaurs with his ninja skills, and then turned some bread into wine and fish into water. Some may know it as The Bible. WWJD? Punch a dinosaur

Now, we have discovered the real answer: Dino Riders
Dino Riders was a documentary produced in the late 80's about some dudes from this planet that travel back in time because some evil guy was mean to them. Due to the fact that we really couldnt be bothered explaining it, here's a little snap shot of what happened. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpuhLkh358Y

So how did the dinosaurs die? The Dino Riders rode them into the ground. Literally, and physically. By the end, the dinosaurs were praying for a meteorite combined with an Ice Age combined with a Full Force Jesus Attack.

Elephant Seals

Seriously, what was God smoking when he came up with these things. They are "Spew-in-your-mouth" Ugly.


Thats enough of that, stay posted for more revelations and blasphemy.

Ouuuutttttt