Well, 2012 is upon us, the final year of mankind. According to the Mayan calender, which was written in stone by a bunch of lazy yobs who died of Spanish flu, this is it, the end of it all. Do we think its going to end? No. The main reason why we don't believe the world is going to end is the source of the information, the aforementioned lazy yobs. While, for all intents and purposes, we are massive fans of the Mayans, after all they did invent chocolate and were the first to make a bearskin rug, they just aren't to be trusted, especially in regards to time. Their calenders were on stone, and they told the time via sun dials. We have computers, if the world was really going to end then surely Bill Gates or Steve Jobs would have let us know via some kind of app. Is the world going to end for people who don't believe in calenders? And what about someone without a watch? It makes no sense, just go back to harvesting maize you crazy Mayans and keep your opinions to yourself.
Now, to more pressing matters. The countdown is on to get to VSFS2012. So to kick things off in the hunt for the golden tickets we thought we would let you in on a massive secret, the biggest secret of all, who is Victoria?
Name: Victoria Secret. People tend to believe that Victoria has a secret, these people are wrong, Victoria's' last name is Secret, which makes the name of her fashion line even more amusing as it is a hilarious play on words. Victoria, like the total babes that walk the runway for her dressed in super sexy bras, is a total babe. Total babes are tops in our books.
Mission Update: So far the mission is not going so crash hot. We've got less ideas sober than we do drunk and to much amazement from the gallery, we really aren't drunk that often, which means that our creative juices are relatively dorment until the weekend arrives.
Reviews are back in 2012, but this year we have added another aspect to the reviewing process. Last year we brought you movies, music and places we went. Now we are doing Australia a favour and providing you with Tourist Information about places that we haven't visited but have heard about.
Lightning Ridge, NSW
http://lightningridgeinfo.com.au/
As the name suggest, the tourist mecca od Lightning Ridge has both heaps of Lightning and a Ridge. What people don't know is that it holds the World Record for the most one-stop-shops. According to their website, Lightning Ridge is home to a plethora of exotic shops that provide the weary traveller with an array of items, such as petrol, groceries, hats and opals. In fact the town has only one clothes shop, so everyone in town dresses from only a small sample of clothing items. In fact, every towns folk has an Akubra and some Rip Curl Boardies. Even though there isnt a beach and no-one in Lightning Ridge can swim.
So How did the name Lightning Ridge come about? Well, according to random speculation, a person wandering down the road saw a Farmer, his wife, his 12 daughters and 3.4million sheep laying on the ground looking like they had been struck by Lightning. Pretty convenient story we would say. What is more likely to have happened is that the person walking down the road murdered everyone and everything and then proclaimed himself Mayor of Lightning Ridge, which was previously known as "Over there" before 1892.
So why go there? What have they got lined up? - Heaps!!!
There are a couple of mines out there, so you can go work in them for a week and a half pro-bono and if you find anything you have to sacrifice it to the Lightning God on top of the Ridge at 1530 AEST. If you don't find anything you can go to any number of shops that hold a specific item or check out the local attractions like the house you can't go into and Shell Petrol Station. All these exciting locations are at your door step when you stay in the caravan park by the empty dam hole, which is rated by locals as the Greatest Palce on Earth.
So where is this Australian Gem? Or should we say, Opal (You'll have to check out the website to realise the hilarity of that last comment). We thought it was down near the Victorian Border, allegedly it's near the Queensland Border. Which makes more sense because Victoria is downhill of Queensland. So go and check it out, it'll be worth it.......
Would we go there: No.
Score: One Lightning Strike out of a Massive Storm.
Well, that concludes the first jibberish of 2012, stay tuned for more things that don't make sense and aren't really worth talking about. We will endevour to pursue our 2012 goal by only talking about it and not really putting in any effort towards obtaining it. But atleast it gives us the chance to Fail.
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