Woolworths: The Fresh Food People

Generally speaking, we all go to the supermarket to buy our fruit and vegetables as we are less likely to have grown them ourselves. It's funny to think that we laugh at the Amish for having the ability to construct barns in mere seconds and to grow and then harvest their own food, but then remember if it got to a point where we had to become self sufficient we would all just die or eat a shit tonne of canned beets. So because we wouldn't know when to plant a tomato plant, let alone know what to do with it, it's the supermarket for everyone!! In Australia there are two main competitors who basically control the majority of the supermarket patronage, these being Coles and Woolworths. Due to our detrimental laziness, we shop at the local Woolworths at Crows Nest because it is literally 100m away from the illustrious Batcave. The only other choices we have are some hippy show down the road that sells turnips with dirt still on them, Franklins, which everyone knows is like shopping in a 3rd World Country or Thomas Dux, which is totally the fanciest place on Earth (the staff wear aprons). And here starts our massive rant which will be carried out in point form because, well, we love bullet points.

• Woolworths at Crows Nest, as with every other Woolworths in the country, claim to be the "Fresh Food People". The problem with saying ridiculous things like that, is that everyone believes it. The only thing that's fresh in the fruit and vegie section is the mould growing on the tomatoes. If we wanted to see mould, we'd go hang out in our garage more often. Unfortunately we have not garnered photographic evidence of the mould, but the beauty of Crows Nest Woolies is that we can go there anytime and see it. Hooray!!!
• Thomas Dux is a shop for fancy rich people. Thomas Dux is around the corner from Woolworths. Thomas Dux has a better selection of Fruit and Vegetables. Thomas Dux is more expensive than Woolworths. Thomas Dux is Owned by Woolworths. See the problem?
• Aesthetically speaking, if you ever want to feel like your growing up in the early 90's again, take a trip to Crows Nest Woolworths. This time machine will even have the logo used many many years ago, so you feel like you can home and play with your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and have a hot milo. We are surpirsed they have heard of EFTPOS

That's basically the three main First World Problems that we have. At the moment! We understand that we could shop somewhere else, but then we'd have to drive, which means we are killing the environment. So we are saving the environment by eating mould. Good on us. We are so socially responsible (remember when we tried to find Kony? Classic Us)

Anyway to finish off, a shout out to  good friend of Le Batcave, City Lemsipper. Unfortunately he has blown out an ACL playing AFL, or destroying someone elses kitchen, it could be either. Get Well Soon