Fashion Exclusive

Unfortunately the summer that never was has passed us by and we are moving full steam ahead into a time where the length of the humble skirt is lowered to below the knee and those stupid high cut pants are thrown into the cupboard until festival season rolls around again. But why should they be? In today's glorious update we will take you to the fashion world and tell you about the things, as well dressed gentleman, which are total crimes against the world. In essence we are a formidable Fashion Police

High Cut Shorts
We just spewed in our mouths. We are totally for the fact that the pants are a means of securing half an arse cheek. But we are totally against the fact that they are being used as a way to prop up boobs. If you are going to wear high cut shorts, please make sure that the waist of the shorts are at waist level, not breast level.

If her boobs were bigger, nice bra

Joggers and Jeans
We will walk to the sun without sunscreen on the day this obscene combination becomes fashionable. No offence to anyone out there that thinks that wearing joggers and jeans is awesome, but come on. This combo is mainly worn by people who are after the mobility of joggers and the stylish swagger of jeans. They have given up on finding love, or are very confident that they have found love, and stop caring. At least for the most part the Joggers and Jeans combination has been confined to the Western Suburbs of Sydney (we're looking at you Mt Druitt) and the Frankston area of Victoria, but much like the Cane Toad it may be spreading to regions where people are above board and where normal shoe/jeans combinations are black banned.

This Mountain Lady has since been put down

Top Buttons Done to the Top
When a shirt designer designs a shirt, they only put that extra button at the top because they have way too many buttons. There is no reasonable explanation as to why anyone does up there top button unless they are wearing a tie. Actually, we tell lies, there are two other types of people who can get away with this: Mexican Cartel Members and People who are affiliated with hardcore Gangs. They are also eligible to wear bandannas on their heads. Unless you are in a cartel or a gang, this is a fashion crime. It's basically like committing mass murders. Not as bad as joggers and Jeans however which is like dropping a Nuke on a beautiful island in the South Pacific. People who have fringes tend to pursue this course of fashion, and it's pretty clear from all the fringe monsters that we've met, that they are not very trustworthy and would probably punch a kitten.

Nice hair, slick

And thats about all the fashion we could think of. Because we didn't want to offend anyone we didn't really mention chicks who are "larger than life" wearing pants which are "not as large as life" but we are too nice to drop to those levels of blogging. On a positive note, we will be designing some articles of clothing for the Next Big Fashion Show in Milan. You can be rest assured that there will be no Joggers with Jeans.