Perth: First World Problems

A lot of people mention to us when they are walking down the street, I'd like to live in Perth. And now, because we have moved on from our days as fashionistas in Milan, we will commence our latest improvement to our blog, a travel segment (in point form of course).

Perth

When: Last weekend, back-end of the middle of May, but not the end.

Why: Because we work for Lonely Planet sometimes. Whether they like it or not.

Things You need to know:

• Every single person in Perth is chilled to the max in the day time. But when night falls, that's when the "Night people" come out to play. You will observe the "night people" when you walk down the street, as the people who have a deranged look in their eyes, a torn t-shirt and are yelling at you with consecutive swear words for no other reason than that you have entered their line of vision. But much like the jungle cats of the Daintree Rain forest, you will survive if you do not make eye contact!! If you do make eye contact, prepare to go 5 rounds in the main street. Then when the sun comes back out, everybody goes back to not caring. And the world is normal again.
• If you are a poor person, you should just go to Centrelink instead, save up your dole cheques, and then one day, you could go to Perth.
• If you have saved up enough dole cheques you should then buy yourself an airline ticket. If you do decide to buy a ticket through Virgin then prepare to be judged and humiliated. The plane on the way back was built by the Wright brothers, and when they constructed their flying contraption they decided to segregate the rich wine drinking people from the people who were drinking Pepsi Max and water. The kicker though is that there were a total of 4 swanks on board, who were cordoned off by a small rope, but they had a toilet all to themselves. The rest of the 200 people on board had one toilet to choose from which was basically located in the cargo hold. 
• Down in Fremantle, this is generally how everyone acts, Bloody Hipsters. In fact, a guy working in a restaurant had a uniform which consisted of him having a rug wrapped around his head. it wasn't that cold.
• Yum Cha is a delicious meal to eat when you have had too many drinks the night before. We would not recommend drinking 25 beers after eating 4.6kg of Yum Cha, for obvious and self explanatory reasons. 

So basically in summary, stay indoors at night time, take out a mortgage, eat Yum Cha, and fly QANTAS.

In our next travel adventure, we will be heading the wilds of Tasmania in search of the ellusive Dodo bird, who some say murdered the last Tasmanian Tiger out of jealousy