We had come to believe since the beginnings of the Batcave that we had settled in a nice neighbourhood, where John Howard goes for his morning walk and the only signs of crime are from the amount of foliage entering our gutters. But alas, it is not true. After the events of last weekend, which we thought were all just a distant fond memory, there comes a new hellish story. Last night there was an all new event for us to write about. Fortunately for you all it does not include copious amounts of kitchen sex. We assume that the behaviour over the last few weeks has something to do with the moon, for no particular reason, but for our sakes we hope it stops so we can return to our normal lives of drinking and watching hilarious TV programs.
Basically, the setout of the Batcave has one side fronting the neighbours abode, whilst the other side is basically in a little alcove where nothing of note happens. all the good stuff happens next door, and last night was no exception. Usually there is some Tomfoolery of the drunk babe type, with a little bit of noise which seems to wither away as the night goes on. But we will begin our story at 1:53am, when we were awoken with the sounds of conversation
1:53am: Apart from the usual screams of delight coming from the Crowie, there were a few other sounds emanating from the night last night. Distinctively, it was drunk drivel. And it was coming from next door. It sounded like a hobo had began door knocks, with the sounds coming from his mouth not actually being words but more just drunk ramblings, but we assume he was trying to sell vacuum cleaners to our next door neighbours. Unfortunately for him, he was trying to sell his vacuum cleaners to the Po Po.
1:56am: Shrieks. Piercing Shrieks fill the air. Just a drunk babe, God only knows what she was banging on about, but she sounded like she was involved in the vacuum cleaner sales, and she was a very aggressive saleswoman. On a side note, judging from her shrieks we thought she was about 5'4 brunette hot babe.
2:01am: Screaming. Piercings Screams of "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" fill the air. This was repeated every 3-4 seconds as the Portly blonde woman was being thrown into the back of the paddywagon. To her credit she did resist like a Sri Lanken Militant, but in the end she was thrown in. But that didnt stop her from trying to kick her way out.
2:03am: After witnessing these events through the window (like a 75 year old neighbourhood watch candidate) and the crowd which had gather dispersed, the hood was back to it's normal self with rainbows and freshly cut meadows rolling down the hill. The Po Po had saved the day and we were all safe again
Just another night in Compton.
Also, the awkward moment you find relatives on Youtube
No comments:
Post a Comment